The Decline and Fall of Western Civilization, Part 4,312

Cadillac Seville

Drive By Shootings: Uncle Bob, What THE Hell Were You Thinking?

What the hell was wrong with us in the late 70s?

And this – the Cadillac Seville v. 2.0 (introduced for Model Year 1980)

  • fake rims
  • Fake engines – up to 145 hp from your choice of innocuous corporate engines, or the famed fake diesel (converted from a gas 350) or V8/6/4
  • fake leather inside (eventually leading to the term “leather seating surfaces,” instead of “leather seats”)
  • Fake convertible roof (thank the 1978 Lincoln Continental Mark V for making this seem OK)
  • and finally – Fake-ass fake Daimler fake trunk.
Cadillac Seville
Fit for a disco queen
Daimler DS420
Fit for an actual Queen

Uncle Bob, What THE Hell Were You Thinking?

This is your dream car? Are you f***ing kidding me?

Cadillac Seville
OK, this end looks like a Cadillac

Cadillac Seville
Wait what?  Is this the 50s?

Cadillac Seville
Swear to god, some UPS truck sat on the rear of a Riviera to make this look

The worst part is that I am oddly attracted to this atrocity.  I feel so dirty.

1972 Cadillac Coupe De Ville

1972 Cadillac Coupe de Ville
Feel the luxury flowing through you

Coupe de Ville, from the French word for bloated tank of lard.  This is the pinnacle of American luxury in the day.  Why?

 

  • 472 cubic inch V-8 – bigger than your puny Impala’s 350
  • 22 ft long – again, bigger than your puny impala.
  • Power windows, locks, a/c, long before they were common on kias
  • Leather, from actual creatures
  • An arm rest in the back seat.  That is the real kicker.  It’s how my grandparents knew they were in a real luxury car.  Not the other shit – the rear arm rest.

Uncle Bob had a shit brown one, which blended in nicely in dingy, drab Detroit.