How to tell you are pussywhipped

four clues right here

  1. you drive a minivan.  Extra pw points because it’s a sensible budget KIA
  2. “SLOW DOWN baby on board” sticker.
  3. “I <4 my wife” sticker
  4. Grocery store parking lot

This is the automotive equivalent of a lion fish suit.  Everything about it says “stay away chicas.  I am not on the market.”  Not being on the market and loving your wife is all well and good.  Advertising it to the world to appease your wife in the hope of getting a piece of something ?  You are so whipped, dude.  Just cut it off already, because she probably hates you for agreeing to the display of your emasculated-ness.

At least you’re not a Mustang driving douchebag.  Oh wait.  Nevermind.