They All Float Down Here

This is the Buick Riviera version 3.  Maybe I should call it Stage 3, because it’s like a cancer. It followed the familiar path of Thunderbird and Cougar.  Start with a sporty/GT car of various levels of effort.  Get slinkier, but also larger. Coalesce with other models (if you didn’t start as a knockoff to begin with).  Then give up any pretense of sporty, in favor of “luxury.” Have a renaissance, then veer off on increasingly inexplicable courses with no real connection to the original concept, then die quietly, as the accountants piss on you and what could have been if you stayed true.

Buick Riviera
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Larry the BK Lounge Manager

was never this cool in his corporate supplied Riviera. (Neither was Bill or Dan, FWIW.) Why?  No red leather.  A two-tone paint job is no substitute for topless – on cars or women.  And no, having underseat vodka storage (on the BK Riv) does not close the gap at all.

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You can’t hide

your lying eyes J.C. Whitney fog lights

1972 Buick ElectraYes, swapping out the high beans for worthless yellow bulbs really was a thing for while. But so was Shaun Cassidy, bell bottoms and “CHiPs.” 
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