Why we should pretend the 1970s never happened, Ex. 3

Crap Cars

Or, Only In Arizona (since they have long since returned to dust everywhere else (we can hope))

Kinda makes you want to hang out the window of a LeMans and drunkenly yell “oi,” doesn’t it? Actually, one time Merloid did that to me FROM one of these shitboxes. What a proud day that was – to be called a loser by a loser.*

1976 Ford Pinto mpg wagon

1976 Ford Pinto mpg wagon badge
classy!

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*Anyone riding in a Pinto by choice is a loser. Period. It’s indelible. You can redeem yourself with, e.g., Plymouth Fury V-8s and shit like that, but still, it’s a black mark on your soul.

ACID FLASHBACK THURSDAY: 1979 Lincoln Versailles

1979 Lincoln Versailles
ooo, la la

In the 70s, everybody was on drugs. Exhibit A: The Ford Maverick/ Ford (no, nobody thinks it’s a fucking Mercedes) Granada/Mercury Monarch/ Lincoln (“pretend it’s completely unrelated”) Versailles. All of these are ultimately based on the ‘60 Falcon. Classy! Who the hell thought this was a better idea? Who would be seen in it while sober?

Alternatively, the 1970s must have been a time of great vision into the future*, an ability just like Saruman or Darth Vader, because that tumor-like bulge in the trunk must surely be covering some 26” dubs (which were not even invented in 1979 – not even in study hall).

*This can be explained, again, by the drugs. How come nobody sold that shit at my school?