Bentley Bentayga(roni?) and Friends

[Ed.: These are all dealer cars, as near as can be determined. We try not to pick on people’s personal pride and joy. That said, dealers and spec cars and show builds seem like fair game.]
Full disclosure – I already don’t understand why the Bentayga needs to exist in the first place, but it does. So it goes. Still, If you were going to drop 220 or 300 K on a bespoke “subtle reinterpretation of the marque’s signature design traits, from the super-formed, ultra sharp powerline to the handcrafted interior,” would you spend another 10? 100? to turn this:

into this:

The thought mortifies me.  I just can’t imagine the spend tailoring a new car to my precise specifications, only to then send it off to be, uh, “reimagined”/reworked. That would be like sending my kid to a plastic surgeon for a boob job.

OTOH, the secondary market sounds a little better. Someone else has taken the depreciation hit. You now have a chance to buy what kind of looks like the baddest Ford Edge ever, instead of where it started, as the ugliest Audi Q7 ever. The mods are no longer an act of faith between you and the customizer. Hate the choices? Walk away. Hate the workmanship? Walk away. Hate the dynamic changes from that wider, lower, meaner look? Walk away.

Plus, the seal is broken on the pristine handbuilt European craftsmanship thing. If you like everything but the fascia or the rims, it’s no longer heresy to just swap them out for something else. (As loing as “something else” isn’t the original OEM parts, because those are likely long gone.)


Having written all that, I think my opinion on the other cars from Creative Bespoke has evolved. I was all set to hate on a SEMA 458 they did, with constantly changing rims. But Nah. I’d just swap out the end caps and keep the rims from Saturday.

The Roller is a bit tougher sell for me. This is a two tone, although I think the upper color is a matte wrap. Well executed, but what’s the point if people have to be close enough to leave fingerprints to appreciate it? With this one, I would want a respray, rechrome, lose the side cladding and the fascias to bring it back to an OEM look on a car I didn’t like much in the first place. I’ll spend my Powerball windfall commissioning something from the factory instead I think. As I walk away.

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