So, Fly

Mmmmm, plastic
This (too) is the 1980 Ford Thunderbird.

Actually, it may be an ’81 or ’82. Who knows?  Who gives a f(eather)?

This car is based on the famous, ubiquitous Fairmont.  Fairmonts can be good, once properly tweaked. Exhibit A:  Lincoln Mark VII LSC and Continental (or maybe not).  Exhibit B: the Mustang.  No, not THAT one.  Exhibit C: Aero birds and Cougars. Not everything was a “better idea.” It had a twinThey bred like tribbles.

what happens when there are no Jubilee/Heritage/anniversaries to cover the window for?

Getting back to the Thunderbird though, the FAIL is strong in this one.  The 1977-79 birds (and the Mark V) put a new body on the old Torino/Tbird/Mark IV frame.  This meant covered headlights, giant(er) taillights and both opera and coach windows behind the driver.

In the 1980 revision, Ford aped the tail (above) and the covered lights.  The sides are a different matter.

A garden variety bird has neither, just an ordinary Fairmont-y greenhouse. Huh?
Why do you hate me?

It’s possible, one supposes, that they are upselling the look of the 1978 Diamond Jubilee bird.  (or the ‘79 “Heritage” variants). “Screw the back seat people, man.  Go for style.” To me though, they already shot their wad on aping the 77-79s with the Futura/Z-7 atrocity:  a quasi-Thunderbird profile capped with clumsy and cheap Fairmont ends (evidently, they did at least think about it, and somehow thought this ^^ was better).

Neiman Marcus is selling through Target – same idea:  cheapening the built-up brand by trolling for incremental dollars for the pretentiously stupid.  For Ford, it was the stripper T-bird.

And one last point or three about what was wrong in the first place with these cars

  1. The front bumper is flush(ish); the back doesn’t even try.
  2. Could the grille be any more nondescript?
  3. At least they killed off the 1980 vestigial bumper grille – the TMJ of auto styling.
  4. Does no one plan for the look of the car when the headlight covers are up? Nothing says we hate our post-warranty owners like dogshit ugly eyeliner.
No, we did NOT steal this look from a 2004 Crown Vic


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