I need a new business plan. Writing off my data plan and hosting costs is nice and all (#notactualtaxadvice), but fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, it’s nice (one supposes) to have a net income. It evidently leads to perks. To wit:
Craig Jackson is the big cheese* at Barrett Jackson. BARRETT-JACKSON AUCTION COMPANY, LLC is a licensed (public consignment) auto dealer. What does that mean?
1. Dealer plates. Drive the best dealer demo ever for a couple of years, and the company gets a fat write off (#notactualtaxadvice) of the depreciation on a $2 million (+/-) car that’s been whored around town.
|I can make you a deal on this, but you can’t pay in donuts|
2. Speaking of whoring…Look at the door. Look closely at the top of the windshield here. The aesthetic purist in me says, “Jesus Fuck, Craig Jackson! You let your beautiful Godzilla-eating monstrobot car get viciously stickerfied by JC Whitney/pussified by Justin Bieber. You’re as bad as Paris Hilton.” Then it hit me: ADVERTISING EXPENSE.
- Two million dollars and 35 cents (for the cheesy stickers) of acquisition cost? Advertising expense.
- 8 mpg? Advertising expense.
- Routine maintenance costs that equal the GNP of Kerplekistan? Advertising expense.
- Photo radar tickets? Probably irrelevant, because the registered owner is not a person. Otherwise? Advertising expense. (#notactualtaxadvice)
It all makes sense. I can see it now:
- Internet bullshit you’re reading now
- ? ? ?
|“Do you see who THAT is?” “Yeah, let’s go kick his ass!”|
*trustee of the trust that manages the BJ holding LLC that manages the BJ auction company LLC.