So say Melanie V. and Chuck Riker
You thought this was a good idea?
|the one car that makes a Citation look good|
|Please turn away, before I turn to stone|
Here is the short list:
- that face. What is it, a Pontiac Phoenix (the Nova kind)? A Chevy Malibu? When the difference between corporate siblings is the angle of the fiberglass or the random presence of a grille splitter, you’re not really setting yourself apart.
- “A pair of humpbacks.” “Humpback? People?” My Dad assumed that the amorphous profile and rear was the product of more extensive R&D than a traditional sedan. Not hardly, Dad. This profile worked on the X bodies because it was integrated with the rest of the car and not simply a “let’s slope the ass for a couple of these” type of decision.
- Taillights. At least the Buick version tweaked both ends so it did not look like Frankenstein meets the parts bin
- Trunk? This profile screams hatchback.
- Fixed rear windows? Go fuck yourself.
- Olds and Buick instead of Pontiac and Chevy? What the fuck, GM? You take a radical reshaping of your bread and butter profit center sedans and give the craziest changes to the most stodgy and conservative buyers and you expect to succeed? Really.
Just say no to drugs. I think that is the lesson here.